Monday, May 7, 2012

NES Games I Will Probably Never Complete

All of the games that I will be listing are from my memory.  These are games on the NES that I was never able to beat for one reason or another.  I'd like to think it was because they were crazy difficult and not because of my failure as a gamer.  Are these games passable?  Of course they are, otherwise there would've been a patch...... except not, because back in teh 1980s, 1990s and early 2000's, the final release of a console game was it's "final" release.  No patches.  No DLC.  No way to correct anything that might've gone wrong in the game testing phase.

In short, these games were pretty fucking hard.

Not that you can tell, but this is the second incantation of this list.  The first list I wrote up was made up of games that wouldn't surprise anyone that I hadn't beaten.  Games like "any" Ninja Gaiden on the NES, Blaster Master, Battletoads, Silver Surfer, Ghosts 'n Goblins, and Back to the Future.  Then I figured I would make a list of maybe not quite so well known games that were a bloody pain in the ass.  So here's that list:

Mega Man (1987)
Now that I think about it, I don't know if I've ever beaten any of the mega man games....on the NES that is. In Mega Man I, I could never get through the Guts Man stage.  Now that I think about it, I don't think I was ever able to beat Mega Man II...... or maybe any in the series.  No wait, I'm pretty sure I did beat Mega Man X.  I blame it all on constantly losing (or having my Mom/Dad) throw away those small pieces of paper that had the passwords written down on them.  That was always the problem with password games, keeping track of random pieces of paper, knowing which game they went to and where in the game they were to take you.

Back to the Future (1989)
I played this game for the first time at PAX Prime 2010 and promptly got my ass handed to me.  This game came out when I was 9, and even at the age of 30, there was no luck for me getting passed the Lou's Cafe sequence.

A Boy and His Blob: Trouble in Blobalonia  (1989)
Granted, I didn't know what the hell I was doing when I was first playing this game, I didn't know what to do and what the point of the game was.  The week that I played the game, I immediately went to Blobalonia.  Yup, I didn't know that I was supposed to actually explore the real world in order to collect jellybeans.  I guess I could probably go back (if I could find the game) and actually try to beat the game.

Captain Skyhawk
I briefly went over this already in the previous post.  What the video that I previously posted didn't show you , was that you can change your altitude to help you dodge enemy fire.  The other hard part was docking with the space station, or at least it was really hard for me.  These kinds of "fit the thing into the rotating slot" things, I find that I have a hard time with.  The other nice thing with this game was that it was a one-hit-kill.  No life meter.  Well, just a life meter of one I guess.  And you have four lives.  I now know that I've gotten to the third level.  I don't think that I'd gotten to the end of the third level.

By now nearly everyone knows that games back in the early days of console gaming were required to be difficult because the memory capacity of the game cartridges was fairly limited.  Maybe I didn't have the attention span to sit and complete an entire game (I was able to get to Room 97 or 98 in Gauntlet over the course of an entire summer with my Mom so we'll rule the ADHD theory out), or maybe I didn't have ample amounts  of coordination, but whatever the reason was, these games were really difficult (to say the least) and I have no shame in my admitting this.

The Sounds of Failure


  1. I have a thing of Dental Floss sitting on my desk with a password on it for the SNES game Metal Marines. The password is JPTR.

  2. A Boy and His Blob was fucking impossible. I remember trying a few times to beat it, even using the damn Nintendo Power article that walks you through.. idunno, maybe the whole thing! I just got so frustrated because it controlled like wooden block: clunky.
    But the game was so irresistably quirky!

  3. Also, yes, Gutsman's stage on Megaman - I could never get the timing down right on those stupid moving drop-platforms. I so wanted to use his ability to pick up giant blocks, but I never got to.

    I also always 'fondly' remember Ice Man's stage, as the first Megaman stage to feature those disappearing/reappearing blocks that you have to jump on. Essentially puzzle platforming of a high skill level.