Wall of Shame: Unfinished Games

I like to think that I'm fairly good at a number of varying video game genres, or generally speaking, I like to think that I'm generally good at video games.  I've been playing them for about 25 years pretty consistently.  The point being, that in most cases, I'm able to start and finish a video game.  However, there always seems to be a handful of games that I'm unable to finish for any particular reason.  Despite being able to go through the game, learning the necessary moves and techniques in order to reach the final stage/boss/encounter, I cannot, for the life of me, seem to finish the game.  This has happened on more than one occasion which has lead me to create a list.  This list, albeit an incomplete one, we will now refer to, as my WALL OF SHAME!

Diddy Kong Racing  (N64)
Now I know a lot of people reading this are most likely scoffing at both the game itself, as well as the fact that I can't beat it.  I will also surmise that everyone who is scoffing, has never played Diddy Kong Racing.  Yes it is a "kids" game in the same vain as Mario Kart, but I assure you, the game itself is pretty difficult.  In DKR, you not only have to get 1st place in each race in order to advance, but then do the same courses in reverse and collect hidden coins in the level (which are usually off the main path) and still get first.  I did all this.  The Kid can attest to this.  I cannot however, pass the final stage/boss, WizPig.

In the final stage, you have to race a giant WizPig who is running/flying along the course and can easily stomp on you, which will flatten your car, ensuring that you will not beat WizPig.  You also have to hit every single boost/zippers and not land in any of the water on the course or you will fail.  This person actually makes it look easy:

God of War: Chains of Olympus  (PSP)
Now I'm not going to give away who the final boss of this game is, as finding out is part of the storyline and I thought, "Huh, I'd never thought of that.  That's pretty cool," so I'd rather not ruin it for someone who's never played the game before and is looking to; yes, even for a game that's four years old.

The game itself isn't overly difficult having played through on the "normal" difficulty level.  There were some areas and bosses that took a couple of run throughs in order to figure out the right/best way to complete something.  Then comes the final boss.  Like in Disney's Mulan, you use tactics and tricks from previously in the story to overthrow the villain.  However, that did not seem to be the case with me.

After numerous battles, I broke and looked up on Gamefaqs how to defeat the final boss.  Apparently, you need to use the Gauntlets of Zeus.  Funny, I sparsely used them in the game, instead favoring the traditional Blades of Chaos.  I got that I needed to use the Sun Shield, but not using the Blades of Chaos seemed, a bit odd.  So then I went back, and still failed to defeat the boss.  I've tried on even more attempts and have been unable to finish the game.  I've been tempted to play the game on "Easy" just so I can see how the game ends, but the thought of going through the entire game again was a bit daunting.  Maybe that says something against the replay value.

Two games that I'm going to give special mention to are Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! for the boxer Soda Popinski, whom I cannot beat on a regular basis although I can consistently get to him.  Yes, I know the trick about blocking when he goes to upper cut, which confuses him, then you punch him in the stomach to get a star; then you do the same thing, but then super punch him and it knocks him out.  Yes, I know about that.  I just apparently suck at executing that maneuver.  And don't get me started on fighting Mike Tyson/Mr. Dream (obviously using the code to get to him/them/it).  The second goes to Kefka from Dissidia: Final Fantasy, specifically when doing Terra's storyline.  I don't know what it is about fighting Kefka with Terra (both are heavy magic users compared to say, the Light Warrior from Final Fantasy I, who is based more around physical attacks).

So there.  Now along with a slough of NES games, I feel like I've given plenty of fodder for people/villains/arch-enemies who want to challenge me to some sort of saving the world video game play off.

~JWfW/JDub/Jaconian
We Are All Doomed.

Emulator Hour: Punch-Out!! - Who's Puching Who Out!?

Last week I purchased Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream, for the 3DS's Virtual Console from Nintendo's eShop. It was under $5 and I loved that game growing up, so I figured why not?  Punch-Out falls under that category of games that you can pick up, play for about 10-15 minutes, get your ass kicked and put it down. I don't feel like there're enough games out there that follow this type of model.  A lot of games, ones that I tend to buy anyway, you seem to need to put at least an hour into playing before I feel like I've done anything.  Sometimes I just want a game that I can quickly play and have very little, if any, emotional investment it.  Punch-Out fits that bill perfectly.

So I've played Punch-Out now for probably about an hour or so (my DS says 1h8m) and it's exactly how I remember it, which is exactly that I was hoping it would be.  All the sound effects are there, the music is the same, which again, is what I was looking for.  I wasn't looking for updated graphics, new interface or schnazy extras.  The only thing about the game that I knew I wasn't getting from my childhood was Mike Tyson.  See, I started with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!  By now we all know the reason and the difference between the two versions of the game, and frankly, since I'm buying a digital copy of the game, I can forgo it not being the original version of the game.

Which brings me to the main point of this article.  Soda Popinski is still kicking my ass.  The first time around playing Punch-Out, I could reliably get to Soda Popinski's stage and almost 100% I would have my junk handed back to me twisted in one of those plastic six pack holders.  Today, the same thing will happen.  I have no problem with most characters.  Great Tiger can be a little annoying because it's hard to tell when the gem in his turban is flashing on the small 3DS screen.  Bald Bull's Bull Charge will still get me on occasion, and by "occasion," I mean that I'll be knocked out about 50-60% of the time.  Yes, I know all about the counting to 3 bit, but still.  Fucking Bull Charge.

Eventually that brings us to god damn Soda Popfuckinginski.  He just seems disproportionately difficult compared to the previous fighters.  I know I've beaten Popinski at least once before because I've fought Mr. Sandman and promptly lost (after going through Bald Bull and Don Flamenco a second time).  In one recent bout, I was able to bring Popinski down to within two - three punches of knocking him out, then he seemed to gather his whits and promptly TKO'd me.  

It's good to know that a game that I remember so fondly from my childhood has been ported so well that I'm still stuck at the point in the game where I was more than 20 years ago.  I guess if I decide to pick up Kid Icarus or Master Blaster, that I'll most likely be as stuck as I was when I first played those games. I guess that just means I need to dig deep in the deeper recesses of the closet and dust off that pink track suit.

~JWfW/JDub/Jaconian

Only 2,903 Miles To Find Doc.